Dear Gene,
We were perfectly happy having a kitchen cupboard without a door, so it was to our dismay to arrive home from work yesterday to discover that you had decided to 'fix' it, i.e. replace it with a hideous door that doesn't even match. Although this caused great amusement, it is quite an eyesore and we would appreciate it if you would change it.
On another note, we would also appreciate our cable being fixed, because we're getting pretty tired of our two channels, especially seeing as one isn't even in English half the time. Who knew Canada had such a large Italian/Japanese/Ukrainian population that it required a channel devoted to it.
Thanks ever so much,
The European House XXXX
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